“Why can’t I look more like them?” How the comparison complex makes you hate on your body—and 5 ways to beat it for good.
5 ways to stop comparing yourself to others physically.
Last week we shared Strategy # 1, and here are the rest four strategies.
Strategy #2: Put things in perspective (every single day).
It’s easy to obsess over what we don’t like about our bodies.
- Cellulite on the backs of our legs
- How our belly looks when we don’t hold it in
- Body parts we think are too skinny- or flabby-looking
No matter who you are, you can probably name at least a couple. And too often, these thoughts take up way more headspace than they should.
But by reminding ourselves what really matters in life, we can dilute these negative feelings, and make them less powerful.
How? By the simple act of daily journaling.
Don’t think of this as another item on your to-do list. Consider it a quick-and-easy way to get a daily dose of perspective.
Every day, simply write:
- Three things you’re grateful for
- One thing you’re excited about
- One thing you’re proud of (from that day or the day before)
Making this list can give you a major mental boost. Do it routinely, and you’ll transform your mindset from a place of comparison to a more appreciative state. As an added bonus, you can look back on previous entries and see how far you’ve come.
Strategy #3: Eliminate your comparison triggers.
Think of a behavior, activity, or place aimed at helping you get healthier. Are there any that cause you to feel less than adequate?
It could be your favorite meal-prep blogger’s website… because she seems to have endless amounts of time to experiment with new and delicious macro-friendly recipes.
And your life just isn’t like that.
Or it could be:
- That advanced spin class where you struggle to keep up
- A diet that leaves you feeling guilty because you’re always “cheating”
- The weight loss challenge group you joined at work
Is there a specific place, person, or practice that always makes you feel “not good enough?”
If you can put your “trigger” for self-comparison on hold, you can get the space you need to reassess your situation and decide what you really want. Then, if you’d like to continue, you can return to that situation with a clear head and realistic expectations.
Strategy #4: Transform your social networks.
Look through your friends and “following” lists, and ask yourself whether each person or account brings joy to your life. If not, unfriend or unfollow. (We told you there’d be tough decisions.)
Start following people who inspire you, educate you, or just make you laugh.
These can be people you know or celebrities and influencers who give you positive feels. Your goal is to custom-build a peer group that fosters a love for you and your body.
When we have given our clients this task, they often report that social media, for the first time ever, is a happy place for them—a place that’s now contributing to their growth, instead of hindering it.
Strategy #5: Seek meaningful connections.
Whether it’s online or in real life, sharing our struggles and stories with other people can be a way to build genuine connection, community, and support—and a lot more uplifting than scrolling through #fitspo on Instagram.
Share that post or picture that reveals the real you. Have that coffee with a friend. Open up to your coach or partner. Be vulnerable.
Genuine conversations beat silent comparison. Every time.
There will always be someone leaner, fitter, and stronger out there.
We all know this.
But instead of focusing on things that take away from your joy, build your support system. Seek out role models, and surround yourself with people who lift you up.
Turn your attention to those who love you for who you are… and who help you love yourself.
If you pay close attention, you might finally realize what they see in you.
And that’s when you’ve beaten the comparison game for good.
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