23/07/2020 # Home
This week, we are talking about what you need to succeed mentally.
Let’s look at three more methods to round out your mental skill set:
These are all mental skills.
Mental skills, like any other skill, can be learned, practiced, and trained.
You are not doomed from birth to think or feel a certain way forever, any more than you are doomed from birth never to play the oboe or learn calligraphy.
Reframing: Turn the yer frown upside down!
Imagine that you are a film director who’s been hired to film the movie about your life.
Look back on all your experiences and memories through a camera lens. What do you focus on?
Whatever you choose to focus on is your frame.
Your frame shapes your attitude and how you interpret your life.
If you use a “negative frame” and shoot your life as a tragedy, that’s what it will be.
If you use a “positive frame” and shoot your life as an exciting adventure, that’s what it will be.
The actual events don’t matter.
For example, let’s say you have a car accident. You’re OK but shaken up, and the car is totaled.
A “negative frame” would shoot this event as “How awful! Poor me — my car is trashed!”
A “positive frame” would shoot this event as “Oh my gawd! I am so lucky! Cheated death again! This affirms my commitment to live life to the fullest — as if every moment could be my last!” Same car accident. Different frames.
What are your “superpowers”?
Let’s say the “movie of your life” is a superhero film. Start by finding your superpowers.
How do you know what those are? Well, they’re the flip side of your “negative” qualities.
- If you spend a lot of time daydreaming, your “superpower” is imagination and creativity.
- If you sometimes overdo things, your “superpower” is an intensity and drive.
- If you’re anal-retentive, your “superpower” is planning and organization. (And you probably know whether “anal-retentive” should have a hyphen.)
- If you have trouble saying no to others, your “superpower” is probably being very caring and sensitive.
See how we reframed those things?
Now, how can you harness your superpowers for good rather than evil? For example, why not use that intensity in the gym?
Reframing — quick tips
Here are three quick ways to “reframe” your perspective.
- Reframe problems as opportunities. How can you learn and grow from challenges?
- Reframe “negative” qualities as “superpowers”. Remember, just “flip” the negativity over.
- Reframe “I have to…” as “I get to…” For instance, instead of “I have to go to the gym”, try “I get to go to the gym and burn off some stress!”
Refocusing: How to get back on track
Now that we’ve got our positive frames, let’s stay focused on them.
Of course, life is full of distractions. Your attention will inevitably wander away. In fact, you might . . . Hey! We’re not done yet!
Your interpretation of your experiences is based on what you pay attention to.
And what you pay attention to will grow.
Working with your attention is a skill — and getting good at it takes practice.
Develop a re-focusing plan in advance. That can be:
- A “refocusing ritual”, which many athletes have, such as brushing off their hands to symbolize brushing off the last event.
- A simple verbal trigger (remember those?) that reminds you to pay attention (e.g. “Back on track.”).
- A tried-and-true routine, such as a few familiar go-to meals or strategies.
- Imagining “parking” your concerns and distractions “outside” while you take care of business in the gym.
- Getting a quick hit of your “power song” or favorite motivational video or quote.
You will be distracted. Stuff will happen. That’s OK. That’s normal.
You will need to deal with interruptions, distractions, and an “imperfect” life.
There is no such thing as a “losing streak” — every moment is a chance to get back in the game.
Be prepared and have a plan to get back on track.
Don’t wait. Don’t beat yourself up for getting distracted. Don’t use it as an excuse to completely derail.
War is hell. But it also provides some very interesting data on resilience.
Recent research on military personnel, as well as people who have experienced trauma (such as a major illness or the death of a child), shows something that may surprise you:
No matter how bad events are, all of us have the power to bounce back from them.
We used to think that resilience was a trait that only special, perhaps extra-optimistic, people had. Not true.
All humans are born with the ability to recover and regroup after a crisis. We’re survivors.
And resilience is a process, not a thing.
Resilience is a set of actions and a way of looking at the world (hey, there’s that frame again!).
No matter what happens to you, trust your innate ability to survive… and eventually thrive again.
Stay relaxed and trust you’ll survive
Here’s a little exercise to try: Go for a light, gentle jog.
First, stay floppy and loose. Relax.
Now tense up. Tense every muscle in your body, even the ones that wiggle your ears.
What happens to your running?
Notice how when you tense up and get rigid, you can barely move. You end up running stiff-legged on your toes, sort of like a constipated penguin.
The same concept applies to resilience.
- When we’re open to learning and change, accept discomfort and newness (even if we don’t always like it), and adjust our balance “on the fly”, we keep moving forward.
- When we’re rigid and inflexible, fear moving in any direction, and try to control every last piece of our experiences, we end up exhausted and running — very slowly and awkwardly — like a penguin.
Today, think about something that’s been challenging you.
How can you bounce back and take one small positive action?
What we learned and what’s up next
Today, on the bus ride home from Mental Ninja Camp, take a few moments to review what we learned this week.
Help yourself prepare for the weekend ahead.
Try these practical strategies to reframe, refocus, and treat weekend eating (or any other time) as a healthy, productive challenge to your already-learned good habits.
And if you need to, bounce back and clean the slate.
I have heard there are troubles of more than one kind. Some come from ahead and some come from behind. But I’ve bought a big bat. I’m all ready, you see. Now my troubles are going to have troubles with me!
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